It starts with the whirlwind in my stomach,
Is it fear, is it desperation,
is it when my throat gets caught?
The invisible hand clutching my throat,
suffocation hiding behind this façade.
That here lies all of me, in your hands, broken and marred.
The remainder of you echoes in my present,
every memory, every question
Unfinished conversations put off for a better day,
A day which never came, a day which you kicked away.
And here, I get texts and tweets,
“Tea look out for them”
“They are hurt. They are weak”
What about me? What about my feelings?
Why must I be tagged the unfaithful freak?
I promised to stay and I promised to try,
Yet you were the one, to pull the trigger, and kill our time.
“I love you.” “Baby, I was just jealous”
Yeah, I get that, so was I or did you also happen to ‘forget it’?
I pay the price for every minute we shared
And now you blocked me
Asking me, why I even care
So even though I’m hurting and aching,
To your dead ass friends,
the ones you complained about,
I’m sitting like a goddamn queen, cuz I’m just so good at faking.
Yet, I know, that even after all this
Baby boy, you’re gonna be fine without my cherry,
But even years down the line,
we’ll still blame me.