Blame Me

It starts with the whirlwind in my stomach,
Is it fear, is it desperation,
is it when my throat gets caught?
The invisible hand clutching my throat,
suffocation hiding behind this façade.
That here lies all of me, in your hands, broken and marred.

The remainder of you echoes in my present,
every memory, every question
Unfinished conversations put off for a better day,
A day which never came, a day which you kicked away.

And here, I get texts and tweets,
“Tea look out for them”
“They are hurt. They are weak”
What about me? What about my feelings?
Why must I be tagged the unfaithful freak?

I promised to stay and I promised to try,
Yet you were the one, to pull the trigger, and kill our time.
“I love you.” “Baby, I was just jealous”
Yeah, I get that, so was I or did you also happen to ‘forget it’?

I pay the price for every minute we shared
And now you blocked me
Asking me, why I even care

So even though I’m hurting and aching,
To your dead ass friends,
the ones you complained about,
I’m sitting like a goddamn queen, cuz I’m just so good at faking.

Yet, I know, that even after all this
Baby boy, you’re gonna be fine without my cherry,
But even years down the line,
we’ll still blame me.

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The Last Night

You bring me dead flowers,
with the colour rising in your cheeks.
Flowers that drip with emotions of broken families,
flowers that mean nothing to the dead, but everything to me.

‘You seem tired,
has it been a long week, my lord?’
Death and Immortality takes its toll on you,
maybe I’m a sadist, but your pale face shines with the midnight dew.

We sit by the river side,
Oblivious to the world on the other side.
Black waters, Black skies, I fell in love with despair,
with the taste of your poison and your hands in my hair.

Spring is near, you whisper,
we both feel the warmth on my skin.
‘Shush my love, we have the night to ourselves’,
I have you in my arms, your subjects can stay in Hell.

So you kiss me, at the end of our eternal night,
Fervent and slow, moving to our disgraced passion.
And once again you fall in love, with your hands on my hips,
With pomegranate seeds and the taste of their blood on my lips.

 

A Vampire’s Curse

The taste of your blood, so sweet
the way it’s soothes my parched throat,
I feel my wounds close
My body reformed into its perfect porcelain.

Daylight find me hiding in between shadows,
With every heartbeat, I find myself hungover
With every death, I find my companion
In this cold dead world.

The dusk finds me waltzing
Finding a partner to dance with,
With screams of strife,
My pet, your fear buys me dinner.

Your essence of life,
Your longing to live a pig’s life
It is my precious treasure,
A pig must die one as well.

A luxury and a bore
in knowing life has no length.
Allows me many to warm my bed
a tragic consequent in my dull life.

 

Denied to walk among living again
I contain my anguish,
Oh to feel the softness of a breast
Oh to stop playing with my food.

Your blood,
My alcohol my drugs.
Demon of the night,
The devil to your dreams.

Seeking and feeding,
Always out stalking prey,
Sucking on humans bleeding,
I flee at the coming of day.

You humans are nothing compared to death’s scope,
With the full extent of my wrath,
You humans just pray and hope,
For I am destined to walk Satan’s path.

 

 

 

Pain

You think that you’re locked in this cage called a relationship
You assume that what we’re doing is just lying
You think I don’t know about you’re secret rendezvous
What you don’t realise, is that my heart still beats when I hear you laugh.

You say that I confine you,
that I suffocate you.
Yet I give you space to explore, to travel, to learn, to love;
Only, you learnt it all, but not love me, as I do.

You think you can hide those love bites with a new scarf,
and say that you hurt yourself the previous day.
But I know better than to ask you how you fell,
Because in reality, the only one that is hurt is me.

You say that you can’t wait to run away from us
But don’t you see how all I wanted to do was to make you happy
You keep seeing your pain and assume I want the same as you do
But I don’t, I just wanted us.

You say you’re just a slave here, you’re in pain
That you can’t get out of this relationship
But what you don’t see are these chains tied across my heart,
If there is a slave to pain, that would be me.

You Seem To Me

Ethereal,
that’s what I saw you.
Ever ready with a smile, sometimes even with a wink.
You charmed me with your words.
Allowing you into my heart was the easiest thing,
and there you shall stay.
You’re ethereal to me

Beautiful,
that’s what you feel to me.
Beautiful, in the most plainest of ways,
the way you held the book you loved
or in the way you slept.
Your beauty lay in the way you acted

Cold,
that’s what you became.
Your ice heart froze time,
because we’re still in the mess we entered.
You hid, you cheated, you smirked, and you turned cold.

Alone,
that’s what you feel on the big bed.
I added you to the list of silent exits,
simply, because, I started a new game for us.

Miserable,
that’s what you must feel at night.
You should feel what I felt.

Scared,
that’s what this game makes people I play against feel.

Dead.

oh.