With the last box opened in the middle of the box filled house, there wasn’t much room to walk around, and yet, yet she felt so lonely. The absence of warmth. The absence of love. The absence of him. Then again, that wasn’t the him she knew. They had made their choice, her, her sanity and him, his bottle.
The boxes aren’t going to find a place themselves, was the last thought she had before she sat crossed legged, reaching first for the box labelled ‘living room’. Out came colourful cushions, coffee table books, empty vases and picture frames. Picture frames willed with memories of the seashore and beach sex. With mountains and snow cones. With hot chocolate and autumn leaves. With broken glass and torn photographs. As she flipped through the items in her hand, a small smile graced her lips. Even two thousand miles away, she still can feel the past.
“Well, it’s time to move on.” She reminds herself before moving quickly to the next box. Kitchen items slowly were placed outside it. The chipped bowls they were forced to buy after chasing each other in the shop. The different coloured coffee mugs because she wanted to match her outfits. The chopping board where the lip stick stain remained even after number of rinses. He had her bent over, whispering and caressing her softly, while fucking her slowly.
Her body flushed at the memory and the chopping board slipped out of her hand. As she bent down to pick it up, she felt phantom fingertips run across the spine of her back and she inhaled deeply, shuddering.
Goosebumps grow on her arms as she forced herself to get back to unboxing. But she couldn’t, not when she was forced to set up the bedroom. Every sheet had his smell, every pillow his cologne. Her study was filled with books with written notes written by both of them. The bathroom was filled with her shampoos and perfumes he loved on her.
It was like he was following her everywhere. She was trapped. Neither minded it.
The sound of her ringtone broke her thoughts and she jumped from her bed. His ringtone!
“Are you done unpacking?”
“Not yet, there is still so much to do!”
“Thought so, I bought pizza. Open your door.”
She barely could reply before the end tone clicked in, rushing towards the door. There he stood, a bit shy, a bit awkward, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to another, holding three boxes of pizza and a beer pack in either hands. He grinned at her and stepped in.
She stared back at him. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She wasn’t supposed to be so happy to see him again. He wasn’t supposed to be here, he was supposed to be drunk somewhere. He wasn’t supposed to drop the food on the table and hug her like his life depended on it.
“I can’t live without you. Let’s start over. From the scratch. ”
She could only nod.